Our Purse Is Basically the MARY POPPINS bag: 10 Things We’re All Guilty of Carrying

Because sometimes life requires literal extra space for our chaos.

If you’ve never seen the classic Mary Poppins, here’s the quick rundown: She's a magical English nanny, who's bag of tricks that held a multitude of seemingly impossible items. Sound familiar? That’s basically your purse. It might look compact from the outside, but once you open it up—voilà—it’s a never-ending rabbit hole of surprises. Need a half-eaten snack that’s definitely expired? It’s in there. Lose your keys this morning? They might be in there, too, hiding under a crumpled mountain of receipts. But no matter how cluttered it gets, there’s one modern essential you actually want at the ready: your Spare Pair underwear.

So, let’s explore the 10 things we’re all guilty of carrying in our handy carpet tote (a.k.a. our purse).

1. Receipts from Who-Knows-When

Your purse inevitably doubles as a time capsule for your past spending habits. Did you really buy all those iced coffees in one day? Those receipts say yes. But you keep them, just in case you need proof that you did, in fact, purchase a donut six months ago.

Why We Hoard Them: We tell ourselves it’s for budgeting. In reality, they’ll crumple into dust before we ever look at them again.

2. The Half-Eaten Granola Bar

We all want to be the friend who has a snack when someone says, “I’m starving.” But if that someone rummaged through your purse, they’d likely find a slightly smushed, half-nibbled granola bar from last Tuesday—arguably the best (and worst) snack for quick hunger pangs.

Pro Tip: Regular purse clean-outs help ensure your emergency munchies are still edible. Or at least not completely questionable.

3. Loose Change That Never Gets Spent

You pop into the coffee shop, pay in cash, and throw the coins haphazardly into your purse. Fast-forward a few weeks: you’ve got a mini piggy bank jingling around at the bottom of your bag, but you still scramble for exact change like it’s a national crisis.

The Irony: Those quarters mysteriously disappear when you actually need to feed a parking meter.

4. That Ancient Tube of Lipstick

It’s either a color you bought on a whim (because the influencer on Instagram wore it so well) or it’s the remains of your once-beloved shade that’s clinging to life. At this point, it’s more of a sentimental artifact.

Still Use It? You bet. Because reapplying that dusty mauve in the car mirror is a critical confidence booster—even if it’s borderline extinct.

5. Crushed Gum Packets & Stray Wrappers

Remember that brand-new pack of gum you tossed in your purse last week? Now it’s missing all but two sticks, its packaging is shredded, and leftover wrappers lurk between receipts. It’s basically the sticky confetti of your purse dimension.

Guilty Admission: You’ve definitely chewed a piece of gum that was questionably wrapper-free at least once. No judgment.

6. Random Membership Cards

Gym membership, grocery rewards, that punch card for the sandwich place you visited once two years ago. They all live rent-free in your purse, contributing to the bulk. You can’t bear to throw them out because hey, maybe you’ll want that free sub… someday.

Hidden Perk: One day, you might actually earn that free sandwich. We believe in you.

7. Phone Chargers & Tangled Cords

We carry around a nest of wires that would make a tech-savvy squirrel proud. Phone chargers, earbuds, random USB cables for devices we don’t even own anymore—all jumbled together like a complicated puzzle.

When You Need Them: You’ll find everything except the cord that fits your current phone. Classic.

8. Multiple Hand Sanitizers

There’s the fancy scented one, the extra-strength one, and the “travel” one that’s basically the same size but came in a 2-for-1 deal. The irony is that you forget to use them half the time, yet they keep multiplying.

Apocalypse Ready?: You’ll be the germ-free hero in any group hang.

9. Perfume Samples & Other Mystery Items

Sephora freebies, random perfume vials, maybe a stray bobby pin or two. They accumulate in a bottomless freebie pit. One day, you might even find that missing earring you swore you lost at a restaurant.

Treasure Hunting: Going purse-mining can actually be fun—sometimes you stumble on something you forgot you had and it’s like finding hidden loot.

10. The Real MVP: A Spare Pair

Amid all the chaos, the one essential that truly belongs in your TARDIS purse is your Spare Pair underwear. Why? Because unexpected moments are as inevitable as those sneaky receipts. Whether your period shows up unannounced, you end up in a sweaty spin class, or you just want to refresh after a long day, a crisp, clean Spare Pair is the real game-changer.

Why It’s Worth It:

• No more frantic searches for new panties in random convenience stores.
• No awkwardly waddling home in damp underwear after an “oops” moment.
• Pure confidence in the knowledge that you’re prepared for whatever life tosses your way.

Let’s embrace the fact that our purses are basically magical dimensions, bigger on the inside, and brimming with stuff that defies logic. It’s part of our charm, right? But while those random receipts and battered granola bars might not serve us well, a Spare Pair always will.

So the next time you do a purse purge (and discover that old tube of lip balm you forgot about), remember to leave space for the one thing that matters most: your back-up plan, your lifesaver, your Spare Pair. Because even a Mary Poppins needed her essentials in order.

Now, go forth and tackle those purse cobwebs. Just don’t forget to hold onto your Spare Pair while you rummage—who knows what else you’ll uncover in that handbag of wonders!